Body Language

I’ve recently taken an interest in body language. It’s a very interesting topic as most of the conversation is done non-verbally.

Here are some key takeaways:

1. “When the mind closes, the body follows.”; “When you can see a ‘no’ before it’s said, you can try a different approach

In essence, when a person crosses their hands or legs, it shows that they are not open to your opinion at that point in time. It will be futile to keep pushing your point across at that moment. Hand them a brochure, a pen, a paper, or a drink so that they will “open” up and start listening.

2. In “The Secret Language of Influence in Business” by Kevin Hogan, the found that “if your counterpart is right-handed, you will be received better and have a far greater likelihood of making the sale if you are seated off to that person’s right”

3. “Fake it until you make it”

One should deliberately choose the necessary behaviors to show confidence in yourself and if you do that often enough and long enough, that confidence will eventually develop for real.

“Remember that confidence is an illusion, a bit like pulling a rabbit out of a hat: the rabbit does come out of the hat, but there is a magic trick that you did not see that put it in there. By matching someone else’s confidence, you can appear confident, but no one will notice the techniques you are using to create the perception.”

4. To build rapport, there are 3 key points to remember:

4.1 Mirroring– your body language, your movements, your posture, your tone of voice, your style of dress

4.2 Listening– ask open-ended questions and listen for key wants and needs, check for understanding, find areas of common ground, hear what is really being said

4.3 Reciprocating– similiar pressure when shaking hands, sharing similar levels of information, responding to a gesture of trust with another gesture of trust, anticipating needs and offering support.

5. Skilful elbow-touching can give you up to 3 times the chance of getting what you want.

When you next meet someone new and you shake hands, extend your left arm, give a light touch on their elbow or hand as you shake, rpeat their name to confirm you heard it correctly and watch their reaction. Not only does it make that person feel important, it lets you remember their name through repetition.

6. Use the “Steeple” action to protray confidence.

7.  The power of “Eyebrow Flash“. The golden rule is always Eyebrow Flash people you like or those who you want to like you.

8. The “Power Lift”

To keep control of where a person is looking, use a pen to point to the presentation and, at the same time, verbalise what he sees. Next, lift the pen from the presentaton and hold it between his eyes and your eyes. This has the magnetic effect of lifting his head so that now he is looking at you and he sees and hears what you are saying, achieving maximum absorption of your message. Keep the palm ofyour other hand open when you are speaking.

9. Remember to take note of seating arrangements for the best outcome.


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