Proposed solution to love vs attachment

And I chanced upon part of the answer to my question that I posted earlier:

“Clinging to bodily form has 2 aspects. Most obviously, we cling to other people in our lives. Clinging is not the same as loving. It is not the same as caring for someone’s welfare and wanting that person to be happy. It is, rather, a jealous or obsessive possessiveness that seeks to own another person. We can all think of examples of husbands and wives who try to possess each other, or of friends who are so bossy and controlling that they strangle the friendship. Practicising generosity in human relationships mean trusting another person and allowing him or her to enjoy space and freedom and dignity.

Developing an attitude of not clinging requires, at first, that we spend a certain amount of time alone. Many of us cling to the experience of being with others out of fear of being lonely. But aloneness is not loneliness. Rather, it is the singleness that creates space for us to think, reflect, meditate, and free the mind from noise and attachment. As our greed, hatred, and delusion dimish throuh our solitary practice of mindfulness and meditation, we strength our ability to be with others without clinging. When the mind is at peace, we can be in company with many people without attachment and the suffering it brings.” – Bhante Henepola Gunaratana in “Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness”

A sign. I guess I’m meant to continue on my journey for answers.


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