Rocky end

Things haven’t been smooth sailing of late. There are so many things that I have to deal with both at home and at work. I try hard to seem strong and happy but its proving to be quite tough on this quiet night.

Someone needs to take on the leadership position at home. I find myself in the same position as 9 years ago- taking charge and trying to pull my mum out of the ditch. This time though, i’m fortunate enough to have my sisters chip in. Tonight, I had to take on my mum’s emotional burden, understand what was she trying to communicate, encourage my sisters to focus on the issues at hand then delegate responsibilities. Sounds easy, but trust me, it was emotionally tiring. My er jie loves to plan but takes a long time to act while my da jie has a strong character but loves to complain. I had to come up with a plan and convince them that this is the way to go. We will fulfill my mum’s wish list tomorrow… but the rest is up to her. We can pave the road but she still has to be the one to take the first step. I just hope she doesn’t screw up because I do not have an alternative plan and my sisters’ patience are running thin. Mine too.

As for work, I heard that my client wants to terminate our service. I had a hard time for 2 months when another client almost wanted to terminate our service. To my boss, the circumstances that led to it don’t matter. It’s the fact that we will lose revenue which drives her crazy. When I go back to work on 2 Jan, I know for certain that she will tear me down viciously. I will also have to play aunt agony to my immediate boss, listening to him as he relate to me about how much he has done and the stress that he is getting from the lady boss.

There are other health stuffies that I have to settle in January. I just hope they will give me time to look into it as the peak season is coming up.

I expect the emotional pressure will be high over the next few weeks.

I allowed myself to cry tonight. But tomorrow, I’ll stand back up and slowly fight against the powerful currents.

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